1277. Various Artists / We Wish You a Metal Xmas and a Headbanging New Year. 2008. 4/5

I’m sure that you, like me, have been bombarded each and every December with the same old Xmas carols that have been around for time immemorial. Sadly, in fact, due to the onset of social media and weird people’s obsessions, we now have their occurring in November as well! The decorating of the outside of the house and yard with Xmas lights and displays, the Xmas tree being put up in early November rather than a couple of weeks before Xmas Day, and the endless parade of Xmas carol CDs being played at home, at the workplace, and at shopping centres around the world. Honestly, even for a Grinch like me, it borders on what Australian cricketers used to call mental disintegration.
Now, I can’t stop the onward progression of Xmas light displays and my lovely wife wanting to put up decorations and the tree in September, but at least one part of this horrific confluence can be offset just a little, with the discovery some years ago now of a Xmas album that is designed especially for people like me. An album full of Xmas carols as performed and metallised by heavy metals finest artists.
In the years before this, the two Xmas CDs we had would come out every year in the mid-2000's, and our kids who were all under the age of 10 before I found this album, would sing along and know all the words. And then they would participate at the local Carols by Candlelight every year at Albion Park High School, with glow sticks and Santa hats and ‘come all ye faithfulling’. It was great to see all three having such a wonderful time. But it was a punish.
And then, this album came into my life. And it really was ‘joy to the world’ because now I could put on a CD of Xmas songs, and sing along with each and every one of them, and show the kids that GOOD versions of these songs DID exist!

The great thing about this album is that it contains versions of traditional Xmas carols, the ones everyone sings at Carols by Candlelight and other such events, as well as more current Xmas themed songs written and performed by other well known artists. The album was produced by Bob Kulick and Brett Chassen, who had been involved in several tribute albums over the past decade, putting together artists to cover other artists best songs. So once again here, they have done a terrific job in bringing together the great musicians of the genre to contribute to this album.
A very rocking version of “We Wish You a Merry Xmas” opens up the album, the spine of the track provided by brothers Bob and Bruce Kulick, along with Chris Wyse on bass and Ray Luzier on drums. The vocals are provided by the always excellent Jeff Scott Soto who gives the song the energy it needs. The Chuck Berry song “Run Rudolph Run” follows with the excellent triumvirate of Lemmy on bass and voclas, Billy Gibbons on guitar and Dave Grohl on drums. Lemmy is in a very Xmas spirit throughout, and it is an enjoyable version, surely better than Chuck Berry’s! Alice Cooper then lends his perfectly sinister vocals to a great rearrangement (slightly) of “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”, with Claus spelt CLAWS. John 5, Billy Sheehan and Vinny Appice offers their excellent contributions to this track as well.
Then, welcome to this well known doom metal Xmas favourite. The foursome of Simon Wright, Rudy Sarzo, Ronnie James Dio and Tony Iommi serve up the perfect doom anthem with their take on “God Rest You Merry, Gentlemen”, and it is as surprising as it is fantastic. Who doesn’t want a bit of doom at Christmas time?! Haha. The tempo heats up again with “Silver Bells”, a great rocking version from Carlos Cavazo on guitar, James Lomenzo on bass and Ray Luzier again on drums, and Geoff Tate on vocals looking to reach for the ceiling. Carlos is the star of the track, with shredding rarely heard on any previous version of this song, certainly not the Burl Ives version. This is the longest song on the album, stretched to infinity by Geoff’s crooning and Carlos's riffing. Then comes “The Little Drummer Boy”, with the drumming handled by Simon Phillips, thoughit isn’t as inventive as it probably could have been made given the title of the song. Doug Pinnick’s vocals probably don’t inspire a great deal of entertainment either, Billy Sheehan is almost non-existent, and it isn’t until the 2.5-minute mark that George Lynch gets to unleash and mark his mark on the song. Oh well, I’ve never liked the song anyway so I guess that could also have some bearing on my feelings of this version. It just seemed like a missed opportunity to allow the drummer to really cut loose.
Given the biggest selling Xmas album of all time is “Elvis’s Christmas Album” then it seems a given a song would be chosen off it, and it is, with the opening track from that album “Santa Claus is Back in Town” given the true metal makeover with Steve Morse on guitar and Tim “Ripper” Owens on vocals, pulling out all the stops. Morse’s guitar work in particular is terrific here and makes the track, while Ripper always makes his songs interesting to hear where he is going to take you. And now that we’ve had doom metal, it's time for death metal with “Silent Night”, given the complete overhaul by Chuck Billy’s fully developed growling vocal, supported by Scott Ian and Jon Donais jumping around and having the time of their lives on guitars. Traditionalists will NOT enjoy this version of the Xmas classic, but it's a great version to put on when you are sitting around with the in-laws to scare the bejeezus out of them. “Deck the Halls” is a very 80’s metal involvement with Oni Logan on vocals and his Dio Disciples bandmate Craig Goldy on guitar with Tony Frankling and John Tempesta also adding their weight to the 80’s styled version.
The novelty Christmas track “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” doesn’t quite make the grade, which is a surprise given the freedom these artists surely had in recording these tracks. To be fair, it is probably a song that requires either a Tenacious D or a Stormtroopers of Death vibe about the artist to get the most out of it. I don’t know the original very well, but it seems as though, done well, it could have been a highlight of this album. Joe Lynn Turner then joins the backbone of the Kulick brothers, Rudy Sarzo and Simon Wright to offer a reasonable version of “Rockin’ Around the Xmas Tree”, though it did not seem as joyous as when you hear it in the iconic scene in the movie Home Alone. And covering any Beatles or Beatles-individual song is always a tough gig, and trying to do justice to John Lennon’s “Happy Xmas (War is Over)” here seems a thankless task. It’s fine, Tommy Shaw, Steve Lukather and Kenny Aronoff offer the 70’s 80’s vibe it probably requires, but without the impact it needs to lift it above the pack.
There are four bonus tracks for those of you out there that are looking for even more Xmas for your buck, but the extra four songs are not a necessity. “O Christmas Tree” extends beyond its normal length, and while Doro does a great job on vocals, and Michael Schenker offers us a slight shred, it is a par for the course rendition. So too Girlschool’s shot at “Auld Lang Syne”. And the final two songs - “Frosty the Snowman” and “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” are also less exciting songs, though laughing at Lips from Anvil doing “Frosty the Snowman” is perhaps worth your while checking out.

As I may have mentioned earlier, I came across this album a few years ago, when it became obvious I couldn’t survive another Xmas listening to the same old Xmas songs CDs that we had, and have to put up with those old traditional songs, and listening to Burl Ives and Gene Autry and others of that vintage, along with the modern day must-listens such as “Last Christmas” by Wham and “Do They Know it's Christmas” by Band Aid... it's a tough ride. So I had to find something else, and I rather quickly came across this album which then came on to regular rotation during December at the dinner table. And it worked well, because my kids were old enough to know what kind of music I liked and so recognised it for what it was, and even my lovely wife felt some of the versions were good modern versions and updates.
I’ve listened to the album a couple of times today, a little ahead of schedule but in order to do this review, and I still find the first third of the album is really good. Jeff Scott Soto’s “We Wish You a Merry Xmas”, Lemmy’s “Run Rudolph Run”, Alice Cooper’s “Santa Claus is Coming to Town”, Dio and Iommi’s “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen” and Geoff Tate’s “Silver Bells”. Add to those Ripper’s “Santa Claus is Back in Town” and Chuck Billy on “Silent Night” and you have a diverse and interesting Xmas addition to your collection.
Will you play it at any other time of the year? No. I doubt it. I don’t. Will you play it every December? My word you will. Will it make an appearance on Xmas Day as you have brunch or open presents? Wel, it damned well SHOULD!!!