973. Elton John / Too Low For Zero. 1983. 3/5

Back in 1983, in the middle of those years where pop and synth were ruling the airwaves of Australian radio, Elton John released this album, and my mother went out and bought it. It was unusual, as Mum didn’t buy many albums, and possibly none since the abomination (my mother’s words) that was Yoko Ono’s contribution to the Double Fantasy album in 1980. It was my first initiation to an Elton John album, as before this it was only the songs that were played on the radio that I knew, and here again the only reason that I sought it out and played it of my own volition was on the strength of the first two singles released that found airplay. It was an education, one that in later life had me searching for all of his albums.

The opening track wasn’t part of that reason. Listening to it didn’t auger well for what was to follow if it was going to follow along these lines. "Cold as Christmas (In the Middle of the Year)" is a dreadfully deadpan, boring opening to an album, one that has the potential to push away would-be listeners immediately. The opening of an album has to be a grabber, one where your attention is diverted immediately to it and drawn into its spell. This opener does almost the exact opposite, and is a disservice to album overall.
“I’m Still Standing” is still the song that punctuates the 80’s decade for Elton. It’s the upbeat, grandiose song that shines with positivity and ecstasy, a bright and breezy proclamation for both Elton himself, and as an anthem for those who wish to push it. You can’t help but like this song, no matter what your mood, as it drags out the bad and replaces it with the good.
The title track “Too Low for Zero” reaches for those same emotions but in a different way, expressing from the depressed side of the spectrum and garnering a slow and melancholic drip feed as a result. I always liked this song as a teenager, perhaps allowing it to feed on my own angsts of the time when they arose. Without those feelings 30+ years later, it probably doesn’t impact me as much. “Religion” is one of those Elton John songs that doesn’t come along too often, one where the piano doesn’t dominate. It’s the guitar, bass and drums that make the most impact here, though in that same mid tempo that the majority of his songs sit in. This has never been a favourite of mine, perhaps because of the lack of piano which is his signature, but it’s a combination of all lots of factors that pushes me away.
The first side ends with what I consider to be a classic, “I Guess That’s Why They Call It the Blues”, a beautifully paced song led by Elton’s piano throughout and sung just perfectly. I can’t explain why I have always loved this song so much. It is completely outside the box of what I would consider my usual style of song, but it grabbed from the start and has never left me. It is one of my three go-to karaoke songs whenever that particular urge grabs me, and although it sounds like I’m strangling a cat when I sing it, I don’t care.
The second side opens with the hybrid craze-induced “Krystal”. Musically it is as far away from a typical Elton John song as you could imagine, but it works. The constant back beat and bass line keeps the momentum flowing throughout, allowing the instruments to fade in and out where necessary, and leaves Elton to sing over the top, telling the story as he does. It is strangely effective, and though I don’t think it works as a radio single as it does become repetitive, on the album it fits in nicely.
This is followed by “Kiss the Bride”, the partner to “I’m Still Standing” in regards to the upbeat up tempo vibe that it provides, a perfect party song to bring out the happy spirits and encourage a singalong as well. It provides the same brightening of the album as its partner does on the first half of the album. The segue into the two works perfectly. It’s a mood lifter. “Whipping Boy” doesn’t quite contain the same energy, but it does maintain the momentum that the album has picked up along the way. It just feels a bit samey all the way through. “Saint” and “One More Arrow” are for me as disappointing as the opening song. For me they are limp and lifeless, and are always a signal to either restart the album (preferably without the first track) or change albums to the next in line. It is a somewhat disappointing finish to the album.

This is probably Elton's best album from the 80’s, and while it was an excellent decision to have Bernie Taupin return as ‘full time’ lyricist here, the songs are still mixed in quality. The best songs here are excellent, ones that you can still sing along with today. The not so good are completely forgettable, and harm the album as a whole when trying to look at it objectively.

Rating:   “And it won’t be long, before you and me run, to that place in our hearts, where we hide”.   3/5